A Special Kind of Crazy

This is my "honesty" blog.

I'm trying to figure out what kind of person I am and who I'm creating myself to be.

I plan on posting a lot of "deep in thought" sort of things that I ponder on, but also a lot of nothing in particular, too. ;)

I woke up this morning in a house full of guys

Pretty interesting being the only girl there. XP

I slept three feet away from him; I was on the couch, he was on the floor. But I wanted nothing more than to have him sleeping right next to me with his arm over me. 

It was awesome how I fell asleep on the floor, and he woke me up to make sure I could sleep on the couch. He went to get a pillow and blanket for me and tucked me in. :)

*sigh* This guy…

The other night I had a dream that we had our first kiss. 

And in the dream it caught me so off guard, I laughed. XP Well, if it happened in real life it’d catch me off guard just the same. I honestly can’t stop thinking about him and it’s so annoying! I don’t think I’ve ever had someone on my mind as much as he is, it’s ridiculous. 

And I realize almost all my posts have been about him. Which is both sad and irritating at the same time. 

I think it’s because I still don’t know how he feels about me. I mean, beyond us being friends and all. If I knew that there wasn’t a chance we’d be anything more, I bet I’d stop thinking about him all the time. But knowing that there is that potential of something more developing, it’s constantly on my mind.

I’m going to go to sleep and sure enough, I will look over our text messages before I close my eyes. I will check to see if he sent me a text once I wake up in the morning. And I probably will have him in my dream again. Goodness.

Fuck. I just wish I knew.

This is what it reminded me off, that part where Hermione is dancing with Viktor and Ron is so jealous.
See. Two of my kids that were in the group that I was the group leader for, they were walking by our table. So they came by to give me a hug. When they walked away, he looks across the table from me and says, “I’m so upset. You gave them better hugs than you give me!”
And no, I didn’t give them better hugs.
But he kept going. “You’ve only known them for like two weeks and we’ve known each other for four months. You don’t give me hugs like that!”
He was being delusional, because really, I give him great hugs! I sensed that he was kinda jealous, even though he had no right to be. It was silly for him to think that, but kinda nice to see how he reacted to me hugging the other guys. XP

This is what it reminded me off, that part where Hermione is dancing with Viktor and Ron is so jealous.

See. Two of my kids that were in the group that I was the group leader for, they were walking by our table. So they came by to give me a hug. When they walked away, he looks across the table from me and says, “I’m so upset. You gave them better hugs than you give me!”

And no, I didn’t give them better hugs.

But he kept going. “You’ve only known them for like two weeks and we’ve known each other for four months. You don’t give me hugs like that!”

He was being delusional, because really, I give him great hugs! I sensed that he was kinda jealous, even though he had no right to be. It was silly for him to think that, but kinda nice to see how he reacted to me hugging the other guys. XP

All the fucking time.

(Source: justlittlethings)

When I see my crush with another girl.

most-awkward-moments:

Or knowing that he has another girl over at his place…

(Source: lifetomorrowwhy)

:)

Waiting to get a responding message from the boy I liked all through middle and high school…then FINALLY getting a response. And feeling like a school-girl all over again!

Really though, this guy is the sweetest and most genuine of the male species I have ever known.

Makes for a wonderful distraction from said jerk I’m dealing with right now.